My Top 52 Weird Al Songs of All Time!
“He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life.” -Homer Simpson
The time has come to reveal my definitive list of the top 52 Weird Al songs of all time! Originally, I had intended this to be a year long series on my Tumblr page, during which I would reveal one entry per week. It only took about half a year before I got sick of that format. So now I’m just going to put out this outrageously long list in one horrendously long post. Ready or not, here it comes!
52. Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung
“I visit Mr. Frump in the hospital. I see him almost everyday…”
We begin the list with one of the darkest and most obscure tracks Al ever recorded: “Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung”. Featuring Al on vocals and accordion with a little bit of percussion in the background, this stripped down track represents what makes Al so underrated as a comic artist (if you can consider the legend that is Weird Al underrated, that is). So many folks just think of Al as this guy that comes around every now and then with a silly spoof of a famous tune, but he is so much more than just his parodies. As we will see throughout this list, Al also has a ton of great original songs that feature some of the wittiest and most irreverent humor you’ll find. And “Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung” is about as witty and irreverent as it gets. Only Weird Al could take the story of a dying man and turn it into this funny little novelty tune. It’s a bite-sized sample of dark humor that will make even the most easily offended tap their toes along with its simple, happy melody. Featured on his equally underrated self-titled debut album, “Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung” is a hidden gem worth listening to over and over again.
51. Bedrock Anthem
“Yabba dabba yabba dabba dabba doo now!”
One of the things that amaze me most about Weird Al is how he can sometimes write a parody of a song and make the lyrics sound even more natural than they do in the original version. That’s exactly what he does in this 1993 parody of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers’ “Give It Away.” As is the case for me with most of Al’s music, I heard this version before I listened to the original tune, and when I found out it was a parody, I wondered what the lyrics “Yabba dabba yabba dabba dabba doo now” could have possibly been in the original song. When I found out the line was “Give it away, give it away, give it away now,” I was astonished by how clunky that sounded when compared with Al’s take on Fred Flintstone’s classic line. It just seems to me that the original song’s melody was made to be paired with Flintstones-themed lyrics. Somehow Al hit the nail perfectly on the head with this rocking parody, and for that, I salute him.
50. CNR
“Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man, the kind of man you’d never disrespect…”
Nothing puts the weird in “Weird Al” quite like a song randomly praising the fictional exploits of a popular American actor/game show contestant. “CNR” is a kick awesome rock pastiche of The White Stripes that has no shortage of hilarious lines. Some of my personal favorites include, “Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion but he never ever told a soul” and “Every day he made the host of ‘Match Game’ give him a piggy back ride.” While such outrageous lines are a lot of fun, I would say that the song as a whole is even greater than the sum of its parts because it’s such a cool tune. It’s basically the rock anthem for all of us nerds who enjoy making outrageous jokes about random celebrities (Chuck Norris jokes, anyone?). Thank you, Al, for making it hip to be geeky with this awesome song and so much more like it.
49. Wanna B Ur Lovr
“You must’ve fallen from heaven; that would explain how you messed up your face.”
I’ll never forget seeing Weird Al live in concert. I had heard of Al’s greatness as a live performer and had even watched a live concert DVD, but nothing could have prepared me for the incredible experience of actually being there and watching him sing this song as he meandered his way through the crowd. I remember I was sitting very close to the aisle, and as he passed our row he stopped and made eye contact with me. I’ll never forget the insanity I saw in his eyes. I tell you, it was surreal.
Other than that great memory, what I love about this song is how every single line of it is gold. Every time I listen I find some new bit of humor to appreciate, which is the mark of a truly great comedy song.
48. Ebay
“A used pink bathrobe, a rare mint snowglobe, a Smurf TV tray…”
Chronicling one man’s journey into an endless shopping void,“Ebay” is one of Al’s more underrated parodies. Not only do Al and his band do an excellent job of replicating the Backstreet Boys’ original sound, but they also manage to capture the useless essence of online shopping. From a case of vintage tube socks to a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, this song is packed to the brim with “the kind of stuff you’d throw away,” and that’s why I love it so.
47. I Lost On Jeopardy
“That’s right, Al. You lost! And let me tell you what you didn’t win…”
There’s a lot to love about this 1984 Greg Kihn Band parody, my favorite part being Don Pardo’s scathing monologue. I don’t know why but I always get a kick out of how he says, “A lousy copy of our home game.” I also love the fact that a twenty volume encyclopedia and a case of turtle wax were the fabulous prizes up for grabs. Who needs actual money when a year’s supply of Rice-A-Roni is at stake, right?
What is especially interesting about this tune is the fact that it came out at a time when Jeopardy wasn’t even on the air. The show had been off for nearly five years when the song came out, and then later that very year the show returned. So I guess the natural question to ask is, did Weird Al single-handedly revive Jeopardy? I like to believe he did.
Above all, I hope this song inspires all of you aspiring plumbers out there to go out and get your Ph.D. Because you never know when you’ll need to know how many bricks are on the Great Wall of China. Just make sure you answer in the form of a question!
46. Bob
“God a red nugget, a fat egg under a dog. Go hang a salami. I’m a lasagna hog!”
Sometimes in life, you just have to step back and appreciate the little things. This is a quaint little song full of palindromic phrases that make absolutely no sense, performed in the unmistakable style of Bob Dylan. Nothing more, nothing less. And I absolutely adore it! It is Al at his weirdest, most obscure, and absolute best.
45. Living With a Hernia
“I FEEL BAD!”
Who knew combining James Brown and medical school could be so much fun? Not only is “Living with a Hernia” a tremendous parody of “Living in America,” but it’s also a great educational resource for hernia sufferers everywhere! Honestly, before listening to this song I was not at all familiar with the common types of hernias that one can get, but Al set me straight. Thank you, Al, for the funky medical crash course and for making all of those incredible dance moves in the music video. Seriously, I didn’t know you could get down like that! The king of comedy music never ceases to impress.
44. Confessions Pt. 3
“Oh and sometimes in private, really like to dress up like Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick. Hockey stick.”
Perhaps the funniest thing about this 2006 Usher parody is the implication that it’s sung from the perspective of Usher himself. Just picturing the ultra-cool pop star saying and doing some of the things Al describes in this song is enough to make me giggle profusely. However, I am also filled with empathy for his poor girlfriend and her pets. Seriously: who pukes on dogs, kills goldfish, and sneezes on cats? And, after all that, he still has the nerve to tell her he hasn’t changed his underwear in 27 days? There are some things you just can’t un-hear. This song is a celebration of all those things, and I think we can all agree they belong in part three of Al’s confessions.
43. You’re Pitiful
“My life is brilliant. Your life’s a joke. You’re just pathetic. You’re always broke.”
No one tells it like it is quite like Weird Al Yankovic. He certainly doesn’t pull any punches in this tragically unauthorized 2006 James Blunt parody. I say “tragically unauthorized” because the song was originally supposed to be part of the album Straight Outta Lynwood, but Blunt, who had initially given the song his blessing, decided to revoke his permission at the last minute, forcing Al to leave the track off the record. Fortunately, Al has since made “You’re Pitiful” available for free download on his website, giving us all unbridled access to this brutally honest gem. So what are you waiting for? Go download the song and listen to it while you’re half undressed, eating chips off your chest, and, of course, playing Halo 2.
42. Jurassic Park
“A huge Tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer. Well, I suppose that proves they’re really not all bad.”
This 1993 parody of Richard Harris’ “MacArthur Park” spoke for all of the folks out there who didn’t particularly care for getting disemboweled by dinosaurs and yet had to endure the rampant popularity of Spielberg’s groundbreaking dino film. Let’s face it: Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark. Truer words have never been spoken. Thanks, Al, for warning us about the true, deadly nature of dinosaurs and keeping us safe!
41. Buy Me A Condo
“Gonna cut off me dreadlocks, throw away all me ganja. I’ll have a Tupperware party, maybe join me a health spa.”
Ever wonder what it would have been like if Bob Marley had decided to become a yuppie? Probably something like this song. The reason this lesser-known 1982 Marley pastiche makes this list is that it’s so creative. I love the unique concept and the excellent execution. Al absolutely nails the whole yuppie motif and beautifully contrasts it with the Rasta lifestyle. His status as one of the smartest and most inventive comedy songwriters to ever walk this big blue marble was first cemented in songs like this.
40. Frank’s 2000 Inch TV
“Robert De Niro’s mole has gotta be ten feet wide.”
What a lovely little song about an impossibly large TV! Recorded in 1993 for his eighth studio album Alapalooza, “Frank’s 2000 Inch TV” is one of those deep cuts that only overly-obsessed Al fans like myself know about. What I love about this track is how effortlessly catchy it is, while also managing to be super weird and quite funny. It’s one of those original Al tunes that can often get lost in the vast sea of his fantastic parodies, and I think that’s a darn shame. While it may not be the most famous of Al’s songs, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for “Frank’s 2000 Inch TV” and all of the incredible fantasies it conjures up. If only I could watch the Simpsons from thirty blocks away from my house… Wait a second. I can already do that on my smartphone… So I guess the song doesn’t exactly hold up, but I still love it.
39. When I Was Your Age
“Didn’t have no swimming pool when I was just a lad. Our neighbor’s septic tank was the closest thing we had.”
Although this song does cover familiar comedic territory with the whole “Back in my day things were better” trope, I still think it deserves some recognition because it demonstrates Al’s knack for heightening humor tropes with his trademark weirdness. There are so many remarkable lines in this tune that it’s hard to pick a favorite, but I’d have to go with the septic tank line posted above. Close runners up include, “Had to sell my internal organs just to pay the rent” and “Didn’t have no dental floss, had to use old rusty nails.” Such lines are the epitome of weirdness and one of the main reasons I love Weird Al so much.
38. I Remember Larry
“I’ll never forget about Larry, no matter how I try.”
I first discovered Al at a pretty young age, so I didn’t always understand all of the references he made in his songs. This song, in particular, contains the line, “I lost all my hair because Lar gave me that Nair shampoo.” Now I had no idea what Nair shampoo was at the time and actually thought he was saying “Nader shampoo” in reference to Ralph Nader. Don’t ask me why I thought this. I don’t think I even knew who Ralph Nader was and had only heard my parents say his name before. Naturally, this made for a particularly embarrassing moment later on when I made a joke about Nader shampoo, only to be corrected by my chuckling mother. So that was fun.
All in all, “I Remember Larry” is one of those Weird Al tunes for which my appreciation has only grown over the years as I’ve come to better appreciate its lunacy. I love how its lyrics are so wonderfully tinged with biting sarcasm and malevolence, which contrast so beautifully with the song’s upbeat sound. It’s simply a marvelous tune about getting revenge on a prankster by binding him, gagging him, and leaving him for dead… Wow, this song is dark! Dark, strange, and funny–the Weird Al trifecta!
37. Christmas At Ground Zero
“You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop or Jack Frost at your windowsill. But if someone’s climbing down your chimney, you better load your gun and shoot to kill!”
Al hasn’t made many holiday-themed songs over the course of his illustrious career, but the few that he has done have this one thing in common: they’re all super demented! “Christmas At Ground Zero” is no exception to this trend with its cheerfully morbid take on what the holidays would be like during a nuclear war. Gotta hand it to Al: the concept of nuclear holocaust has never been catchier!
36. Livin’ In The Fridge
“If you can name the object in that baggy over there, then mister you’re a better man than I.”
There has never been an artist better at writing songs about food than Weird Al Yankovic. In fact, Al wrote so many amazing songs about food in the first decade or so of his career that he was able to compile an entire album of food related songs in 1993! That just happened to be the same year that a little song called “Livin’ On The Edge” by Aerosmith came out. And Al, being the master of food-related parodies, saw it as a golden opportunity to sing about moldy, rotten leftovers. Naturally.
35. Everything You Know Is Wrong
“I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane with a rabid wolverine in my underwear when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes.”
This song is a tour de force! Where to even begin? The first line (transcribed above) is one of Al’s greatest and most memorable lyrics. Indeed, this whole song is an incredibly written piece of absurdist humor. Al’s vocals are marvelous, and his accordion solo at the instrumental break is insane! I love how the song comes right at you and never lets up with its fast-paced zaniness. So many great lines, so many memorable images! One of the details I love the most is how he chooses to go back in time to pay his phone bill. It’s just a beautifully written gem of a tune that makes me smile every time I hear it. And more people need to hear it. Bottom line: if this song doesn’t make you laugh, then everything you know is wrong.
34. Another Tattoo
“Over here is Clay Aiken, there’s a side of bacon, and a Minotaur pillow fighting with Satan, next to Hello Kitty and a zombie ice skating, wait… it’s Ronald Reagan.”
Ever see someone covered in ink and think to yourself, that person should be the subject of a parody of “Nothin’ On You” by B.O.B. and Bruno Mars? If so, then this song is for you! One of Al’s more underrated parodies, “Another Tattoo” beautifully captures the apparent lunacy of turning your body into a canvas for crazy artwork. Not only is the song’s premise solid, but Al’s descriptions of the actual tattoos are also a lot of fun in their complete randomness. I don’t care who you are, mistaking Ronald Reagan for an ice skating zombie is objectively funny, especially when it’s your own tattoo.
33. My Bologna
“Ooh my little hungry one, hungry one, open up a package of my bologna!”
Alfred Yankovic was born in 1959. He recorded this song in 1979. Do the math: He was just 20 years old. That’s right, twenty years old when he had his first hit parody! To think that he started in the comedy music business at 20 years old and has remained relevant to this very day boggles the mind, does it not? That coupled with the fact that “My Bologna” remains one of his most beloved songs is enough to give me chills.
32. Hardware Store
“They’ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters, walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires, BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for, fumigation, high-performance lubrication, metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers, soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers.”
The above quote is reason enough for this song to be included on this list. I don’t think I need to say much more. It’s a simple little song about a hardware store sang a breakneck speed, and it makes me smile every time I listen to it.
31. Party In The CIA
“Need a country destabilized? Look no further, we’re your guys. We’ve got snazzy suits and ties, and a better dental plan than the FBI’s!”
It had to be done. Miley Cyrus’ ultra peppy tribute to partying in the U.S.A. needed to be parodied. And who better to do it than the master of slanted takes himself: Mr. Alfred Yankovic. This song highlights one of the things I really appreciate about Al. His parodies are never on the nose. They always come somewhere out of left field to tackle some of the most obscure and unexpected subjects. It’s not like we were all begging for a novelty tune about the Central Intelligence Agency, but in retrospect, I think it’s pretty clear that we all should have been.
30. Another One Rides The Bus
“Riding on the bus down the boulevard and the place was pretty packed. I couldn’t find a seat, so I had to stand with the perverts in the back.”
It’s a simple switch really–from “Another One Bites the Dust” to “Another One Rides the Bus”– but what truly sells this as one of Al’s best is the raw energy and creativity he brings to it. I love the above video because it demonstrates just how fully Al throws himself into performing these silly little comedy tunes. To him they’re not just quaint little meaningless ditties; they’re his art. And he is truly a master painter, bringing to life the story of an overcrowded city bus with nothing but his accordion, some amazing pants, and the man who would go on to drum for him for the next forty years (Jon “Bermuda” Schwartz) expertly pounding away on his accordion case. It’s a textbook example of how a little comedy and a lot of heart can go a very long way.
29. I Love Rocky Road
“And if I get fat and lose my teeth, that’s fine with me. Just lock me in the freezer and throw away the key.”
Welcome to the hardcore world of the ice cream parlor: where everybody has their favorite flavor, but only one reigns supreme! This classic 1983 parody of “I Love Rock and Roll” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, serves as yet another reminder of how good Al is at writing parodies about food. Arguably better than the original, it stands the test of time as an anthem for Rocky Road fanatics and people who like making fart sounds with their hands everywhere.
28. Nature Trail to Hell
“So bring the kids along; it’s good clean family fun. What have you got to lose? If you like the six o’clock news, then you’ll love Nature Trail to Hell!”
It was always a shock to my young senses when I found a Weird Al song with a swear word in it since he swore so infrequently. Indeed, one of my favorite things about Al has always been the lack of profanity in his music. He is living proof that you don’t have to be raunchy to be funny. However, I will make an exception for this hidden gem.
As the last track on his sophomore record, In 3-D, “Nature Trail to Hell” came out of nowhere because it was like nothing Al had ever done before and nothing he has done since. It’s a very well-mixed track that deftly captures the sound of an early ‘80′s horror movie while also sending up the genre with lyrics like, “you’ll never see hideous effects like these again, ’til we bring you Nature Trail to Hell, Part 2.” It’s an utter shame that more people haven’t heard this masterful comedy tune.
27. Why Does This Always Happen to Me?
“Well, I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report about some devastating earthquake in Peru…”
What a pleasant little tune about a man with sociopathic tendencies! Featured on his Grammy award winning album, Poodle Hat, “Why Does This Always Happen to Me?” thrives on its understated insanity. Its narrator would be more at home in a Criminal Minds episode than in a comedy song if not for Al’s brilliant decision to place these lyrics in a mellow Ben Folds pastiche. As it stands, the song serves as a melodious trip inside of the mind of a mad man, and that’s why it’s one of Al’s best.
26. Your Horoscope For Today
“ARIES: The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon. Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf and give a hickey to Meryl Streep.”
If Al wrote the astrology section in the paper, you know I’d read that thing every single day. “Your Horoscope for Today” is a golden example of Al letting his weirdness run wild all over a simple concept. I love the song’s relentless pace and how Al sounds like he’s having such a good time recording it. This song is way too much fun not to be on this list.
25. Fat
“Your butt is wide? Well, mine is too. Just watch your mouth, or I’ll sit on you.”
When I think of this song, the first thing that always comes to mind is the fat suit. The fat suit Al wears in the music video is legendary, and what’s more legendary is the fact that he continues to wear it whenever he plays the song on tour to this very day. His dedication to weirdness never ceases to amaze me.
Of course, I also think of Michael Jackson. This is one of two parodies Al did of the king of pop back in the day, and both are, of course, amazing. Not only does this song bear an uncanny sonic resemblance to Jackson’s sound, but it’s also humorous on its own. So even if you’ve never heard the original song, “Bad,” before, you can still enjoy this tune for its hilarious riffs on being pudgy, portly, or stout. Oh, and you’ve gotta love that “Hoe” joke!
24. Handy
“I got ninety-nine problems, but a switch ain’t one.”
Some songs are just annoying for being popular. For me back in 2014, the song “Fancy” by Iggy Azalea was one of those songs. Azalea’s inane, narcissistic lyrics grated on me to no end (not to mention the fact that you can’t actually drive from L.A. to Tokyo). I simply couldn’t stand it!
Then Weird Al swept in and turned those catchy melodies into a song I could actually enjoy. For me, the beauty of “Handy” comes from the fact that it takes lyrics that glorify the cult of celebrity and forsakes them for the promotional words of a simple handyman. Only Al could have made such an unexpected subject for a parody work, and he did it with the style, grace, and weirdness of a true parody pro.
23. Gump
“Gump sat alone on a bench in the park. “My name is Forrest,” he’d casually remark.”
No list of the greatest Al songs would be complete without his fitting tribute to one of Cinema’s most memorable characters. Set to the tune of “Lump” by the Presidents of the USA, this perfect parody got me in trouble at a very young age for quoting that line about his girlfriend Jenny. So thanks for that, Al. But seriously, this song belongs on this list because it does a spectacular job of summarizing a two and a half hour movie in less than three minutes. And that’s all I have to say about that.
22. Truck Drivin’ Song
“Got these 18 wheels a-rolling until the break of dawn. Oh, I’m driving a truck with my high heels on.”
Talk about a hidden gem. Featured on his incredible 1999 record Running with Scissors, this is one of those brilliant tunes that could completely fool you if you don’t listen carefully. On the surface, it sounds like your standard country/western road tune featuring Al’s impressive baritone range, but once the lyrics hit you, you quickly discover the song’s simple brilliance. It’s just a song about a truck driver out doing his job… and making a lot of bold fashion choices. That’s where the magic comes from.
21. Good Enough For Now
“Oh, I couldn’t live a single day without you. On second thought, well, I suppose I could…”
Yet another country/western pastiche, this one a lesser known track from his 1986 album Polka Party, “Good Enough For Now” will always be one of my favorites for its shockingly blunt deconstruction of one of popular music’s most abundant tropes. The song’s narrator is very aware that he doesn’t have a perfect relationship with his current girlfriend, and he’s certainly not going to lie to her about it. As a result, we have one of the very best tunes about romance Al ever penned.
20. Jackson Park Express
“She looked at me in a way that asked, ‘Did you have a nose job or something? I’m only asking because your nose looks slightly better than the rest of your face.’“
If Mandatory Fun turns out to be Al’s very last studio album, which it could very well be, I’d actually be okay with that because “Jackson Park Express” is the last track on that album. And, in my humble opinion, “Jackson Park Express” is nothing short of a masterpiece.
Told from the perspective of a weirdo who spies the girl of his dreams on a fateful bus ride, this song comes right at you with one witty one-liner after another. Al tells a rambling epic love story all in the space of a nine-minute song about a bus ride that couldn’t have lasted longer than ten minutes. It’s hard to overstate how much I love this song’s unhinged lunacy. Undoubtedly an epic comic feat, if “Jackson Park Express” does turn out to be Al’s last song on his last album, then he went out with a bang.
19. Dare to Be Stupid
“Put down the chainsaw and listen to me. It’s time for us to join in the fight! It’s time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys. It’s time to let the bed bugs bite!”
“Dare to Be Stupid” is an anthem. It is a rallying cry for those of us who love making fools out of ourselves. The 1985 Devo pastiche will never go out of style as long as there are people out there who enjoy looking gift horses in the mouth and befriending mashed potatoes. In other words, this song will never go out of style. Case closed.
18. Yoda
“I met him in a swamp down in Dagoba where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda. S-O-D-A soda…”
This song is Al’s “Sweet Caroline” or “Hey Jude.” It’s the one that everyone waits for at concerts, and when he comes out in that Jedi costume and breaks into that opening accordion riff, we all go nuts. Who doesn’t love “Yoda?” I defy you to go out and find someone who genuinely does not enjoy this song! Not only does it channel one of the greatest films of all time, but it does so in a way that does justice to one of its most beloved characters while also featuring some hilariously on-point jokes about the Star Wars franchise. Oh, and what do you know, it looks like Mark Hamill will be “making these movies ’til the end of time.” It’s as if Al could see the future!
17. Eat It
“Have a banana. Have a whole bunch. It doesn’t matter what you had for lunch!”
What more can I say about “Eat It” that hasn’t already been stated? I could say it’s the Michael Jackson parody that put him on the map. I could add the fact that its music video is a legendary re-creation of MJ’s original. Oh, and it’s yet another example of Al’s knack for creating food-centric parodies. I could also mention it contains a guitar solo that literally explodes at the end. But all of this has already been said. I guess the only new thing I could add is I love the handmade fart noises added in the background. I’m a huge sucker for any fart noises made by hand. There, I added something new! Mission accomplished.
16. Ode to a Superhero
“And he’s riding around on that glider thing. And he’s throwing that weird pumpkin bomb. Yes, he’s wearing that dumb Power Rangers mask, but he’s scarier without it on.”
Here’s yet another example of Al summarizing an entire feature-length movie in the space of a three-minute song. What makes this one especially impressive is the song he parodied to do so. It’s one thing to parody songs of the moment and make them better than the originals, but it’s another thing entirely to take on the most famous tune from a legendary artist. Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying “Ode to a Superhero” is better than Billy Joel’s “Piano Man.” What I am saying is that Al somehow managed to make his version just as catchy and memorable as the original, and that is no small feat.
15. Trapped In The Drive-Thru
“There’s some idiot in a Volvo with his brights on behind me. I lean out the window and scream, ‘Hey, whatcha tryin’ to do, blind me?’“
Clocking in at over ten minutes, this is by far Al’s longest parody and one of his most impressive accomplishments. As if it weren’t bold enough to take on R. Kelley’s multi-chapter musical epic, Al chose to make his version of the song about a random fast food run — not the most topic. But somehow he managed to make this slow burn enthralling from beginning to end with numerous memorable moments along the way. Featuring iconic moments like when the narrator’s wife has something in her teeth and when Eugene spaces out, “Trapped In The Drive-Thru” is an incredibly mesmerizing tune and an excellent mock-epic from a master comic storyteller.
14. Skipper Dan
“And there it is, the back side of water! What have I done with my life?”
While a lot of Al’s songs seem to take place in their own strange universe, this is one of the few that undoubtedly occurs in the real world and might even hit too close to home for some folks. “Skipper Dan” is the brutally honest story of the destruction of one man’s dreams. What makes it a great comedy song is the fact that it’s so darn up beat and catchy! I guarantee you this: No matter how bad you feel for the song’s narrator, you won’t be able to stop yourself from singing along because the music is that appealing. Honestly, I think this might be my favorite Weird Al song strictly from a musical standpoint. Al’s voice sounds as good as it ever has and his band is at their very best.
13. You Don’t Love Me Anymore
“Why did you disconnect the brakes on my car? That kind of thing is hard to ignore. Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore.”
Sometimes breakups come out of nowhere, and other times there are very clear tell tale signs. This song’s lyrics serve as a very extreme example of that latter type of relationship. Released in 1992 on his seventh studio album Off The Deep End, “You Don’t Love Me Anymore” never ceases to amaze me with its haunting acoustic dementedness. The palpability of its heartbreak is only eclipsed by the utter cartoonishness of its hyperbolic violence. In other words, love hurts.
12. The Night Santa Went Crazy
“From his beard to his boots, he was covered with ammo, like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yule tide Rambo.”
And here we have Al’s other Christmas song in all of its deranged glory. I tell you, nothing says good ole fashioned Christmas music like body counts, SWAT teams, and barbequing reindeer! On a personal note, I’m pretty sure my mom can’t stand this song because when I was a kid, I’d break this one out every year while we were putting up the Christmas tree. Suddenly, a delightful rendition of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” would be interrupted by “Merry Christmas to all… now you’re all gonna die!” I guess I can see now why she was less than thrilled. Still, this irreverent holiday classic will always have a special place in my heart.
11. Smells Like Nirvana
“It’s unintelligible. I just can’t get it through my skull. It’s hard to bargle nawdle zouss with all these marbles in my mouth.”
As I mentioned earlier in the list, one of the things I like most about Al is his tendency to make parodies that can stand on their own. Most of the time his versions don’t have much, if anything, to do with the original songs, which is what makes them such evergreen gems. “Smells Like Nirvana” is one of the exceptions to this rule because it is inextricably linked with the song — and the band — it’s parodying. What makes it work is the fact that most folks can appreciate a lighthearted critique of Nirvana’s incomprehensible lyrics. And even if you’ve never heard a Nirvana song before, chances are you know how annoying it can be to listen to an obnoxiously loud and incoherent rock song. Lines about mouthfuls of marbles and annoyed parents hit the nail perfectly on the head in one of Al’s most on point parodies of all time.
10. Good Old Days
“Oh and mom would be fixing up something in the kitchen, fresh biscuits or hot apple pie. And I’d spend all day long in the basement torturing rats with a hack saw and pulling the wings off of flies.”
This song will always have a special place in my heart because I’m pretty sure it was the first Weird Al song I ever heard. And what an introduction it was! My dad had an old copy of Even Worse on cassette, he played me this song, and it was love at first unexpected line about torturing rats. I remember thinking it was so hilarious that such a pleasant, mellow song could feature such a demented subject matter. I will be forever grateful to my dad for introducing me to this tune because it led to my infatuation with one of the greatest comic artists this world has ever known. Those were, indeed, the good old days.
9. A Complicated Song
“So then I faced pizza all day and every day. Just cheese ‘round the clock, it’s getting me blocked. And I sure don’t care for irregularity.”
Okay, yes, technically this is the parody in which Al took Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” and changes it into “constipated,” but that’s just the first chorus. Beyond that simple switch, “A Complicated Song” is aptly titled because it goes through so many twists and turns that it’s hard to describe it in this post. You’ll just have to listen to it yourself to find out why this gem belongs in my top ten favorites. Let’s just say I feel really sorry for its narrator and move on.
8. White & Nerdy
“They see me mowin’ my front lawn. I know they’re all thinking I’m so white and nerdy.”
Although “Eat It” was Al’s breakout smash and is perhaps his most well-known song, this Chamillionaire parody may well be the biggest hit of his career so far. Released in 2006 as the second single off of his album Straight Outta Lynwood, “White & Nerdy” quickly climbed the charts due to its popularity in a community that doesn’t usually have many songs written for it. Geeks everywhere flocked to this sleek hip hop tune for its uncompromising take on nerd life. If you’re not ashamed of your ability to correctly recite entire scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and take pride in your fluency in both Java Script and Klingon, then this is the song for you. But you can also enjoy it if you’re not all that nerdy because Weird Al is actually a pretty darn good rapper! Who knew?
7. One More Minute
“I’d rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die than spend one more minute with you.”
If you ever need ideas for a game of Would You Rather, this sorrowful doo-wop tune has a lot of insane options. For example, would you rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks or stick your nostrils together with crazy glue? Or what about spending eternity eating shards of broken glass or having your blood sucked out by leeches? While these hypotheticals do make for great brain teasers, there’s nothing theoretical about the resolve of this song’s narrator as he expresses his full commitment to choosing all of those horrid options over the prospect of spending just one more minute with his ex. Gotta admire that (insane) dedication!
6. Amish Paradise
“As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my wife and realize she’s very plain.”
I don’t know how he did it, but somehow Al managed to pick the perfect slant for this parody of Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise.” Oh, I know, he must have thought at some point, I’ll make it about Amish people. Who thinks like that? Al’s creative comedic mind never ceases to astound me, and I’m eternally grateful for it because “Amish Paradise” kicks some serious butt (or should I say gets kicked in the butt and then laughs at the kicker’s eventual eternal damnation?). Either way, it’s an awesome song.
5. Word Crimes
“Everybody shut up!”
A godsend for folks like me who can’t stand the misogynistic lyrics of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” this parody replicates the smooth sound of the original while also dropping some serious knowledge about grammar. Naturally, as a writer, this song is right up my alley, and I love jamming out to it every chance I get. It exorcises so many of my biggest syntactical pet peeves in such a fun way that it just makes me want to dance, which is easy when listening to that funky groove.
4. The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota
“I gave our camera to Bernie, and we stood by the ball, and we all gathered ‘round and said, ‘Cheese.’ Then Bernie ran away with my brand new Instamatic, but at least we’ve got our memories.”
Chronicling a family’s epic pilgrimage to one of Minnesota’s finest landmarks, this rollicking six-minute track is a testament to Al’s fortitude as a storyteller. So many interesting details bring this journey to life and make it one heck of a fun ride. Whether it’s the weird hitchhiker they pick up or the fact that they just love pickled weiners for some reason, there’s never a dull moment in this road trip song to end all road trip songs.
3. Don’t Download This Song
“But deep in your heart, you know the guilt would drive you mad, and the shame would leave a permanent scar. ’Cause you start out stealing songs, then you’re robbing liquor stores and selling crack and running over school kids with your car!”
Every time I listen to this song, it makes me want to grab a lighter and sway in a crowd full of strangers. “Don’t Download This Song” is an anthem for those of us who still like to buy our music legally. Its message is clear, precise, and perhaps a bit hyperbolic (see the above quote). But, hey, you never know; illegally downloading music could lead to an uptick in school kid hit and runs (I haven’t seen any statistics to back up the claim, so I’ll reserve judgment until the data is in).
Nevertheless, hyperbolic or not, “Don’t Download This Song” is a solid piece of satiric brilliance, which is only made more hilarious by the fact that Al made it available for free download on his website when it was first released as a single. Oh, Al, you and your mixed messages!
2. Albuquerque
“Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement in the house half a block down the street from Jerry’s bate shop… you know the place.”
My cousin Chris and I memorized this whole song, this entire 11-minute, 23-second song. We didn’t do it to impress anybody. Nor did we do it because we wanted to annoy the bejeezus out of our family, which we probably did by reciting it so often. No. We did it because we absolutely adored this uproariously weird masterpiece, this remarkable fake autobiography that only could have come from the mind of the weirdest artist in the history of the comedy music genre. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is his greatest original tune.
“Albuquerque” stands on its own. It’s not based on anything. There’s no homage or pastiche to a popular artist or genre. If you’ve never heard the song, I can guarantee you it’s unlike anything you’ve ever heard before. It’s Al unfiltered and unbound by any structures or limits. His weirdness flows and rambles for minutes on end to the utter delight of hardcore fans like me. Honestly, it’s hard to adequately express my powerful feelings for this song in plain text, but if I had to sum them up in a simple phrase, I think I would have to say, “I HATE SAURKRAUT!” Yep, that pretty much sums it up.
1. The Saga Begins
“Because Yoda sensed in him much fear. And Qui-Gon said, ‘Now listen here. Just stick it in your pointy ear! I still will teach this boy.’”
There are many reasons this 1999 parody of Don McLean’s “American Pie” is my favorite Weird Al song of all time. For one thing, it manages to parody a legendary song that everybody knows and while still standing on its own as memorable. Secondly, it perfectly summarizes a two-hour movie within the confines of a five and a half minute song. Thirdly, and perhaps most impressively, Al hadn’t even seen the movie yet when he conceived the idea for the song and wrote it. I’ll repeat that last point to let it sink in: he had yet to see it, and yet he still managed to write an entire song about it. All of the information he had about the film was gleaned from reading spoiler plot synopses on the internet. Yet somehow he managed to get the story exactly right. (Some might say he even did a better job than George Lucas, but that’s an argument for another post.) All in all, “The Saga Begins” encapsulates everything I love most about Al within the space of one amazing song.
Thus concludes an absurdly long post dedicated to one of my all time favorite comedians. I hope you enjoyed reading it (or at least skimming it) and maybe found a few new favorite songs along the way! If you liked this list, feel free to check out the past series I’ve done on my favorite comedy movies and TV shows of all time. Thanks for taking the time to read my stuff!
-Joe
